This One’s For Mommy (Sam sings “Namaste”)

Sam indeed made her mommy happy again tonight after performing as guest singer/soloist at the Assumption METTA’s production of “Romeo and Juliet” (Summer Shakespeare Workshop). We were pleasantly surprised to have received a call from her school last week. They had asked if she could be allowed to sing “Namaste”, an original composition by Ms. Pinky Valdes for the Shakespearean adaptation. Of course we said yes, because we believe every opportunity for Sam to perform is truly an opportunity given her to improve her craft.

Mariel had always been very supportive of Sam’s theater interests. She had encouraged our daughter to develop her many “gifts” as she had looked forward to seeing her perform on stage. She would have been beaming with pride tonight and would have been doubly exhilarated with seeing “Sammy” transform from the bashful little four-year old girl we had enrolled into theater class to try to overcome her shyness to the confident and admired thespian she is today.

I must admit too that it was not easy sitting through the play tonight. I’m no Romeo, but Shakespeare’s words of love found and lost have unexpectedly struck some raw nerves that had sent me reeling back into painful territory.

“O my love, my wife! Death, that hath suck’d the honey of thy breath. Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty… Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.”

Mommy, I know you were watching with me our little “Sammy’s” performance tonight. And I know you knew too that this one was especially for you. We love you very dearly. Good Night!

Every Day I Miss You (Part 1)

“If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in a garden”.- C. Gandhi

What’s there to miss about Mariel? I’d say, a world. For starters, she had always provided me with that reassuring presence that I could do just about anything I decided to put my heart into, and that she’d be there to follow me to the ends of the earth. Out of enthusiasm, unwavering belief, respect…, love? I guess all of the above and more. For Mariel had in her also the best qualities of a leader. One of which was knowing exactly when to intervene and when to get out of the way. And God, while we had so many “spirited” discussions over the years about almost everything, she never once imposed her ideas on me. For she always tried to win me with reason and at even better, through example. Like she was first to sacrifice her love of shopping during times when our “finances” weren’t too great. That’s why I felt so guilty when hankering after that next “gadget” then. But luckily, many times she had conveniently looked the other way while I raided the iPod shop. She “spoiled” me, and that’s why I miss her so much now.

I also miss her creative home decor projects. Those who knew Mariel will tell you how much she loved to decorate our little home. While her favorite themes were mostly English and American country-style, she had this knack for making masterpieces of even “found” objects. In general, she wanted everything to be plainly clean, sunny and comfortable. Bright floral prints interacted with fresh greens and cool blues. And certainly, life would not be complete if we didn’t have her favorite accents in lilac, violet or purple. While I often contradicted her ideas with my own “unique” design sense, I have to admit now that most of the time she was right when it came to deciding where to put that piano or next flower pot.

I miss her for her ways with Sam. Mariel loved her dearly but really knew how to “discipline” her. She had always told me it was all about timing. She knew when to be firm and when to give those hugs. I am lousy at it. So, I usually end up aggravating Sam’s feelings even when I just wanted to give her some encouragement. I really need to practice more.

I miss just sitting around the house and reading the newspaper with her. We get into these lively exchanges on politics, business news and many times about that juicy entertainment gossip about town. Mariel could trade views on just about anything from Alan Greenspan to Brangelina. That’s why she was never a bore to be with. She would always make you feel comfortable and knowledgeable. She would try to reach out to you even when initially she’d appear “offish” when you meet her. I guess she was just in some ways shy, but she was always very compassionate.

I miss her for her “heart”. She was usually first to remember birthdays, anniversaries of friends and kin. She had always gently reminded me of these stuff. She was genuinely concerned how well people were doing. Whether it was to visit a friend who was sick or to get that little present for my mom when we see her on Sundays to cheer her up, Mariel simply cared for others. And she could do this in a way that you’d never even feel that you’d have to return the favor. I’ve heard many, many stories of people she had “helped”. All of which I’ve only known after she’d been gone. She never once tried to share with me any of her little acts of charity. Giving came to her naturally, and oftentimes it was Sam and me who were at the receiving end.

Tonight I simply miss snuggling on the bed with her and our “Sammy”. I miss her warm and comfy embrace. Her nice smell. Her kisses that were more like sniffs. I miss her gentle reminder of that “early meeting” tomorrow. I miss giving her those leg massages that put her to sleep. I miss coming home late then waking her up in the middle of the night just to tell her stories about how our high school reunion went. (She’d even try to stay awake and be sympathetic.)

But I just miss being next to Mariel now and knowing that everything will be all right tomorrow when I wake. Because I am sure that she’ d be there to follow me to the ends of the earth if she had to.

I love you Mommy. I do miss you everyday. There are so many things I want to tell you when we next meet. Good night.

Happy Mother’s Day Mommy

I found this Mother’s Day card I gave Mariel a few years back among some cards she had so neatly saved in a bundle. To tell you honestly, I never even remember writing it and it was simply dated “May 2″. You know how it is with us “boys”, we often look at occasions such as these as more like a “duty” than anything else. Of course I know better now. And I still have Mariel to thank for finding a “safe” place for all the memories. For it seems like even then she knew that one day I would gladly give anything for the chance to feel once more her loving presence, for even just a moment, no matter how fleeting.

My “Hallmark” card had a very nice photo of a flower garden (so appropriate now) and said simply–

“A mother’s love is like a garden, where the sun is always shining. Because of your thoughtfulness, my life has held many beautiful moments. Because of your caring, my heart has known a special kind of love. Happy Mother’s Day.”

And I wrote further on the margin, ” To my loving wife, Mariel, who inspires me and makes me whole. To the mother of my child who gives us a reason to be hopeful each day. I love you now and forever. — Bong”

The words rang so true then. And even more especially now, when they try to reach out through eternity.

Happy Mother’s Day Mommy from Sam and me. We love so very, very much. Now and forever.